So yesterday morning I attended a church by myself for the first time in years.
As part of my effort to get myself back into the Christian community and remain a lone-worlf no more, I attended Billy's church as we had discussed last week. I was very interested in what it would be like as it is a Lutheran congregation, which I haven't attended since I was probably thirteen with my father once (he was raised Lutheran; my mom and pop attend Church Of Christ, which is how I was raised). Needless to say when I was thirteen I wasn't paying much attention and we ultimately never went back; church wasn't really my dad's thing at the time.
I have driven by the Immanuel Lutheran Church building a few times; it's on my way home from Dallas and stands out as a quaint, little white church building. Right up the road from where I live, it's also conveniently located which is always a plus (though not a pre-requisite).
Sunday morning I got up at 8am which is earlier than usual for me on a weekend day and got ready to go. Hill had a dog adoption event that morning so her day was already scheduled, meaning I was on my own. Fortunately Billy was going to be there so I didn't feel too intimidated. At around 8:30 I got in my car and, just to be safe, punched up Immanuel Lutheran into my GPS. Oddly, I found that it was taking me up the freeway instead of straight down 775, but I tend to put more trust in my GPS than I probably should and started off.
By the time I got about twenty miles from the house south instead of north-east I realized that I was probably going the wrong way. I stopped and did a search on my iPhone and found that there are at least three Immanuel Luther Churches in San Antonio, and apparently the one I was going to was not in my GPS database. Now I was half-an-hour away and class was supposed to start in 15 minutes. I punched the address for the church building into my GPS and got the quickest route and hit the gas. I felt weird speeding on my way to church so I ended up going (mostly) the speed limit on my way there, and sure enough arrived about 15 minutes late. I guess even I can't break family tradition.
It turned out that there was no morning class that day and everyone was just hanging out and socializing. Billy teaches the young adult Bible class in the morning so he had some of his friends standing by for my arrival, and a very nice guy named Brian was waiting for me. He introduced himself and his wife (whose name escapes me, of course; that's going to take a while!) and some others (a gentleman who coaches I think for a local high school team named Dave, for one). We had a really nice talk about various things for about half-an-hour, and then the second service started to begin. Most of the people I'd been talking to went to the first service so I was kind of on my own in the actual service.
If there's one thing that going to church has taught me about myself it's that I'm very judgemental. I think that, in a way, a part of me has gone beyond looking for a place that is challenging and now I actually judge the message and how it's presented, which is a really bad attitude and sets me off on the wrong foot immediately. I found myself critiquing every little thing and looking for flaws and where I differed with what was being said, instead of just going with the flow for my first service with them.
I was off-put at first by the liturgy, which really there isn't anything wrong with. It's all very structured and organized, which while isn't necessarily what I want in a service I can sort-of see its appeal. In fact I think getting a little audience participation keeps people focused on what's going on.
So as we were going along I had to force myself to let go of my pre-conceived notions of how
I thought it should be done and allow myself to experience the service the way they were presenting it. When I did that I was able to relax more and enjoy it. The only part that I found rubbed me the wrong way was when the pastor turned and said that, by the power vested in him or some such thing, he forgave of us of our sins. I am going to have to research that and see where they're getting that from; I don't remember anyone but Jesus (and maybe the Apostles) being given the power to forgive sins. Of course, I tend to believe that a lot of the power and authority that was granted to the Apostles are confused as being given to all Christians by today's church; I don't know about you but if I get bit by a snake I'm going to the doctor!
Some of the liturgy is done in a sing-song way that was very reminiscent of how Jewish services sing the Torah, which I thought was kind of cool. I wonder if most of them even realize where that tradition comes from?
He also said some things that struck me as being a bit Calvinistic, but Billy doesn't think that he means it in that way. Things like saying that his faith is a gift from the Holy Spirit make me wonder, though.
All-in-all I think I enjoyed myself; getting to mingle with other Christians and enjoy some light fellowship and service was neat. Right after I left I felt a little torn about whether this was the place for me or not, but upon reflection I think I need to attend a few more times, go to some Wednesday night and Sunday school classes and meet more people and see how that's going before I make my decision about whether to plants roots there. It would be unfair to do otherwise, really.
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